Why I'm Super Duper Sad Tonight.

warning. this post may cause you to get up from your spot at the computer and immediately hug your children.


(Thursday night, 9:34pm...)
I have to say that I am sitting in what we like to call "Ann's Cybercafe" which is basically the porch by the dining area that seems to get a bit of internet access, and I am just sad...because it's our last night of camp!!! This is my third year of Lightseekers and although I've missed the past few years, the memories all came flooding back when I stepped out of my car this last Sunday afternoon. I have had the awesome privilege of being on the Lightseekers worship team for the third time and there is just NOTHING LIKE IT!!!!!

(Attempting to finish the blog post...Friday night 8pm!)
I don't even know where to begin. There is just something so special about seeing the light go on in a child's eyes for the first time when they realize that singing is more than just a sound, that the worship time at camp is not about sitting still and being quiet or blindly following the lead of those around you, when they realize that they are singing to THE ONE TRUE GOD and that their voices are actually being heard by the Creator of the Universe. All of a sudden, shy kids are singing as loud as they can. The child that came in burdened with trouble at home and at school is jumping up and down singing of God's faithfulness. And yes, the resident "class clown" is actually NOT making a joke, but singing with a seriousness that was not there before. This is what brings me to tears up there on stage...and yet of course I would look silly crying while the kids are singing and jumping up and down so I squelch it, and I have to try and finish singing all the songs with a huge lump in my throat!

These are your kids. Your kids who are at times disrespectful, irresponsible, or dishonest. But they are learning, learning to be helpful, and kind, and forgiving, and bold, and to make the right choices in a sea of temptation and in a world where they are sometimes written off as being "just a kid". And you know what? I'm 32, definitely not a kid anymore. I've been married for 4 years, and we have a 2 1/2 year old son, but sometimes I too am disrespectful, irresponsible, or dishonest, just like them, just like all of us.

That is what I feel that I take away from my experience at Lightseekers every year. I may be able to drive a car or apply for a loan, but I am just a CHILD OF GOD, just like each camper here. We all fall down, and Jesus helps us back up again. Some of us just have few more years of experience with the falling down part :)

I'll end with saying once again...YOUR KIDS ARE AWESOME!!! I mean why else would I pay for 2 plane tickets from Hawaii and brave 2 weeks alone on the road with my rambunctious toddler than to hang out and worship the Lord with almost 200 kids who love the Lord? And you might ask, what about the Lightseekers staff? Oh, don't even get me started on how awesome they all are. There is not a better group of "grownup kids" to love and teach your campers, teaching them the truth of Scripture but always in a loving way. Just all around fantastic human beings! I struggle to walk past most of them without hugging them every single time...except for Mary who I actually do hug everytime :)

What a great God we serve!